A Goodwill Trip

You know, Dah-lings, The Zsa Zsa realizes that not everyone who is an admirer of The Zsa Zsa is able to make the trip to gaze upon the magnificence that is The Zsa Zsa.

Not all The Zsa Zsa’s admirers have lackeys to transport them. There are even those of The Zsa Zsa’s species who do not travel anywhere. They stay at home always and are treated like….pets.

The Zsa Zsa realizes the plight of these poor, impoverished beasts living in third world squalor without an inkling that somewhere is a wonderful place where there is The Zsa Zsa all the time. And so The Zsa Zsa must make her mission of mercy to the poor and suffering of Northern Virginia, as a sort of Angelina Jolie of the canine world.

So That Woman brought me to the house of the Rudy and he was permitted to look upon all that is The Zsa Zsa.

How can I describe the joy on his mug when the Rudy was permitted to gaze and sniff The Zsa Zsa! There is something so … so … endearing about a subject who knows his place when I tear his face off in my presence.

And then there was the performance in honor of The Zsa Zsa: the squirrel juggling, rope wrestling, and musical aria.

Of course there were the many offerings that are only The Zsa Zsa’s due, after all, and the permitting of the rabble to stroke The Zsa Zsa’s head, which is all part of the kindness that is The Zsa Zsa.

Oh yes, That Woman was there, knocking back the wine and feeding her face without a thought to The Zsa Zsa. Luckily there were among the throngs two others who appreciated the excellence of The Zsa Zsa and observed the usual protocol of praise and mass quantities of treats so important to the happiness of The Zsa Zsa.

I must admit, I had forgotten, living with That Woman, what proper adulation of The Zsa Zsa should involve. Apparently those of the Northern Virginia have not forgotten the old ways of Zsa Zsa worship and am considering throwing That Woman out of The House of Zsa Zsa in favor of The Woman of Many Treats and the Lesbian Pirate Ninja Witch.

However, as you well know, charity work can become a trifle tedious after awhile and, quite honestly, The Zsa Zsa found watching the Rudy sleeping a tad boring, though I’m sure his dreams were filled with visions of The Zsa Zsa.

So The Zsa Zsa told That Woman to wrap it up, received The Zsa Zsa’s well-deserved parting honors and tears of gratitude, and drove off in the Zsa Zsa-mobile to the exile palace of squalor.