Miracle?

Well, Dah-lings, all I want to know is, who called it The Miracle of Birth?

The Zsa Zsa is not happy. The Zsa Zsa was mislead and there will be repercussions.

Miracles, in case you haven’t heard, Dah-lings, involve heavenly light and angels singing. Pain and groaning are not usually miraculous accompaniment. And I’m pretty sure miracles do not end with EIGHT GERBILS CRAWLING ALL OVER THE ZSA ZSA!

I don’t know whose idea this was, but I have a feeling That Woman was involved in the decision. Thank Dog someone showed up who had a clue.

But gerbils? And they all seem to know The Zsa Zsa and follow The Zsa Zsa all around the Pen of the Huge Dog Head until The Zsa Zsa just has to give up.

I tell you, Dah-lings, I will put up with only so much of this and then it’s off to Boarding School for the lot of them. I’ve already arranged an education for half of them. Three will attend The Sor-Bone. No, not that place they send uncouth people, The Sorbonne, in France. This particular academy is in Germany and accepts only the finest quality applicants. The other will be send to Great Britain to attend Eatin’, which, The Zsa Zsa would like to point out, turned down the Royal Family, who was then forced to send their puppies to Eton.

A few will remain in this country to spread the word of the magnificence that is Zsa Zsa to the far-off lands of Maryland and West Virginia.

A few will remain here to wait upon The Zsa Zsa, a task that seems to be beyond the capability of That Woman, who has yet to recognize The Zsa Zsa’s need for a private spa and personal trainer.

And, perhaps, Dah-lings, they will soon stop looking like cat bait. One can only hope…